Relational Hygiene

Relational Hygiene:

Basic hygiene practices: wash hands, sleeve sneeze, compost out or fruitflies, etc.

Community of followers of Jesus: we have relational hygiene practices expected of us as we mature in the faith

Romans 12:18 “Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.”

*NOTE: Doesn’t mean I’m right all the time, but that there is a healthy way to go about resolution.

John 13 ³⁴I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. ³⁵By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.’

Keeping Confidences and Gossip

How we talk about and act around each other is as important anything we say.

Communication Filter: Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?

Example: Gossip about another parishioner who is not there.

Conflict and Triangulation:

Matthew 18:15-17

15 ‘If another member of the church^* sins against you,^* go and point out the fault when the two of you are alone. If the member listens to you, you have regained that one.^* ¹⁶But if you are not listened to, take one or two others along with you, so that every word may be confirmed by the evidence of two or three witnesses. ¹⁷If the member refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if the offender refuses to listen even to the church, let such a one be to you as a Gentile and a tax-collector.

Problem?

Step #1: Go to that person

No? Step #2: Go with someone

No? Step #3: “Either this stops or He/she needs to know this so I am going to tell them.”

Example:

Triangulation: passive-aggressive/conflict avoidance/soliciting support

Example: Jake the Snake Parable

Healthy communities grow, unhealthy communities do not. How we talk about other people is a core indicator of our health.

John 13 ³⁴I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. ³⁵By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.’

We take Conflict, gossip, keeping confidences and triangulation seriously.

We expect Healthy Relational Hygiene to be practiced after the manner of Jesus.

Rev. Michael Caines

I live to answer the question: “So how did you go from civil engineering to becoming a priest??” I have been here since 2008 when I arrived as the assistant. Since 2012 I have been leading the church as the Priest-in-Charge, and now as the full-time Lead Pastor. I grew up in Sussex, N.B. and then studied Civil Engineering at UNB Fredericton. After a brief period in youth ministry my wife and I moved to Uganda to teach and work at an Anglican Secondary School. After that, I studied at Wycliffe College in Toronto, ON and was ordained in 2008. I served with the Naval Reserve for a number of years but now as the Chaplain for 3 Field Artillery Regiment in Saint John and Woodstock, N.B. I love the outdoors and in my down time I enjoy running, sailing and playing music, but most importantly, time with my family.

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Soccer, Sailing and Surrender… - February 25, 2021
Stairway to Heaven or Us? - February 16, 2021
Dispersed to Go Deep? - February 9, 2021
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